Should
You really shouldn't use the word should.
08/05/14
The word should. It's really quite powerful. It can create disappointment in others and anger with ourselves. “Shoulds” reinforce the idea that it is wrong not to do a behavior. “Should nots” reinforce the idea that it is wrong to do a behavior. When we don't follow through on these rules, it can create a sense of guilt and shame.
Really, there are no shoulds. We have preferences. For example, I don't have to pay my electric bill. It's not a should. Yet, I prefer to have lights and a television and a way to power my computer. So, I prefer to pay my electric bill. I don’t have to do the dishes but I prefer not have ants running amuck in my kitchen. So, I prefer to do the dishes.
Try this: replace the phrase, "I should" with "I want to" or "I would prefer to.” See if it feels different.
You really should give it a try.
Really, there are no shoulds. We have preferences. For example, I don't have to pay my electric bill. It's not a should. Yet, I prefer to have lights and a television and a way to power my computer. So, I prefer to pay my electric bill. I don’t have to do the dishes but I prefer not have ants running amuck in my kitchen. So, I prefer to do the dishes.
Try this: replace the phrase, "I should" with "I want to" or "I would prefer to.” See if it feels different.
You really should give it a try.